Perpetually frustrated is more like it. Why can't things ever just be easy?
The job market has not been kind to me lately, as things have taken a turn for the worst in the medical field. People are unemployed, and therefore have no insurance, and therefore do not see doctors, and therefore do not come to hospitals. This, in turn, has caused a great decrease in patients at the ICU I am so lucky to "work" for. While our ICU usually holds anywhere between 22 to 34 patients, we have been hitting all time low numbers of EIGHT.
When this happens, I receive phone calls at 5am on the day I am supposed to work saying, "Don't come in, we don't need you." While this makes me feel a little insecure, usually the thought going through any sane persons mind would be - "Whooooopi!!!! I don't have to work today!!!!!!"
But when the "at home" days outweigh the working days, and all your PTO (paid time off) is gone, the word "Whoopi" is not something that goes through a persons mind. It's more like a word that starts with an "S", ends with a "T", and has an "HI" in the middle of it, that is going through my mind.
SO here I am. Carrie Allen. Started working when I was 15 years old at a bagel shop, and moved myself all the way up the ladder (of nothing really), to get to this point. All I do is WORK. Work work work. I worked 2 jobs through community college, worked through Biola, worked through graduate school. I have never taken a break. I have literally never had more than 2 weeks off of work. I have never traveled to Europe for months on end... I have never even traveled to friggin' Europe! I haven't done a lot of things, because my whole life has been about working hard. And even now, all I want to do is just study for the GRE, take it, and finish some kind of graduate school. But noooo, life had to throw this in the mix.
Well I am tired of it. I got bitter, and angry... for like a day. And then I realized, wait, if I have been working all of this time, then I have a "pot". Oh no you naughty thang, not that kind of "pot", but the kind us Obama lovers like to bring up all the time - an unemployment pot. For the past 12 years it has been getting filled up with MY money, and now it's my time to take some back for the team!
So what am I going to do the rest of the summer? Well, I am not going to Europe, but I am going to lay by the pool a lot and sleep in... live off the pennies of an unemployment check, and maybe a part-time job at Starbucks. Yup, that's what I will do...