School is for the Cool kids.

School.school.School. 

I am excited for school to start again! 

Though I am really nervous about the intensity of the work, I am SO excited to actually be attending Fuller IN Pasadena, and I am also super excited about the courses I am taking. 

Drumroll please...

>>>Politics and Policy: How to Make a Difference In Your Community
>>>Globalization, The Poor, and The Christian Mission
>>>Homelessness, Congregations, and Community Partnerships

Did I mention that I changed my emphasis to Christian Ethics?

Coooool. 

I picked up the homelessness class at the last moment because I wasn't able to get into medieval church history, but it's kind of a blessing because the expert of experts on medieval history is teaching in the spring quarter, so I will take it then. 

Also, SUPER excited about the fact that in my homelessness class, we are required to read a book written by the prof who teaches my globalization class, and who is also a VP of World Vision. Ah! So incredibly exciting. The globalization class seems ridiculously difficult, as I have 2 books and a (long) journal article to read before the class actually starts, and then from there I have about 1800 pages to master (says the syllabus), and many many assignments. Everything seems to go through the TA, and I think that the VP is literally only there to teach, and not even read our papers, but that makes me feel like a real grad student, so hooray! ;)

God has also provided in timing my courses to revolve around bad traffic times. I feel really blessed. 

Finally, I have a feeling I will be having no life for the next 10 weeks. I want to get straight A's, and I am going to work hard to do it. So just remember that you are loved by me...

A New Year.

It's almost 2010, and a new year always brings a time of reevaluation upon one's life. Blythe gave me a good idea awhile ago, in saying that at the half way point of my birthday, I should see how many of my birthday year goals I have achieved. Well, the half way point is February 6th, but I figure now is a better time because I really feel that 2010 will be a very significant new season in my life.

Between grad school, lots of good friends moving away, new jobs, new cars, new house, and a new church, my life has dramatically changed in 2009. Now that I am getting comfortable in my new shoes, I think it's a good time to reflect on what was happening in my head in August of 2009, but also how some other goals may have been added...

#1 - Grow closer to the Lord (a given...) - This #1 goal of mine has definitely been fulfilled, and continues to be fulfilled. I learned A LOT of valuable life lessons in 2009, and in particular, I want to thank the Lord for instilling in me more patience and self control (two "fruits" that I have been praying for).
#2 - Travel some of Europe - This is still a major life goal of mine. My real goal was to make it to Europe in the summer of 2010, but I think instead I am planning on an East Coast trip. Maybe 2011 will be my Europe year.
#3 - Hang with the fam more - This one is crazy to me, because it has definitely happened. I can really see myself moving out of the "I am too cool to hang with my parents" phase, and moving into the, "I love hanging out with my parents" phase. I am blessed by my family's faithfulness to me, and I am constantly reminded of those who are fatherless and motherless. I pray for them, and I am challenged by them.
#4 - Get involved in a really good home group - This goal will definitely be accomplished by my birthday in 2010, as I am getting involved in Rock Harbor Fullerton, and I am SO excited about it.
#5 - Do something that I am really scared of (and ya, I already know what this is...) - Still in the process...
#6 - Learn how to cook better - I still totally suck, but I got 2 more cookbooks for Christmas!
#7 - Be more encouraging - Still trying. Before I speak, I always try to think about what is coming out of my mouth just to make sure that it's encouraging. I also try to notice when hair color changes etc., so I can say something nice to (hopefully) make a persons day better.
#8 - Explore areas of California I have never seen before - A constant goal, as I grow in my love for California.
#9 - read.read.read.more. - Well, I was forced to do this through school... ;)
#10 - Disciple more, and BE discipled, more - I have just joined the college mentor program at Rock Harbor. My training is coming up in a couple weeks, and I look forward to being able to help college students grow in Christ, as they try and figure out their lives.
#11 - Not to miss, the one thing, that was missing, from my 26th birthday - I am so close, it's not even funny.
#12 - Read 75% of the books that are already on my bookshelf, that have never been read - Ya, this is never gunna happen.
#13 - STILL be driving my car! - Ahaha, well I didn't even make it 3 months after my birthday for this goal, but I am LOVING my new (reliable) Toyota Corolla.
#14 - Visit Erin in Colorado - Hopefully this spring!!
#15 - be.more.real - I am maybe too real at times nowadays.
#16 - blog more - Meh.
#17 - Watch all 10 seasons of "Friends" - I am on season 9...
#18 - Take my mom to NYC (and see Jon Stewart live) - Still a huge goal of mine to take my mom to NYC.
#19 - Use my Disneyland pass A LOT - Total fail. Hopefully I have time to redeem this one before it expires.
#20 - Get rid of more of my things I don't need - Still a work in progress.
#21 - Buy a camera (mine broke) - I have my iPhone...
#22 - Pray more - Talking counts, right?
#23 - Listen more - Trying...
#24 - Finish the bible study I am writing - Now I want to write a book, soooo...
#25 - Spend more time with my friends - Still want to really work on this.
#26 - FIGURE OUT MY LIFE! ;) - Hardly.

And some new ones to check out at 2011...

#1 - Decide what direction I am going in my education.

#2 - Make it a financial goal to be more well traveled in the next 4 years.

#3 - Move north to be closer to Pasadena.

#4 - Stick to my healthy lifestyle.

#5 - Keep my car and room clean.

#6 - Really be able to grasp and learn, what I am studying in grad school.

Happy New Year!

All I want for Christmas...

Holla. 

All I want for Christmas is to know who reads my blog. It is so incredibly random how many people that I never even talk to anymore, read my blog. And then if I (or my mom) runs into them, they act like they know everything about me already because they read my blog. So, I am just wondering... who's out there...? Come oooon, just leave a holla in the comments. 

holla. ;)

Love Deeply.

*sigh*

I had a rough week. 

Hearing the news of a young Biola Alum. who died of the swine flu, and a young mother who died of cancer, was difficult. 

And then I had to go to work. 

Sometimes at work, for 12 hours, I have to just listen to people cry and cry. 

It's heartbreaking. 

It's so crazy to me how our bodies can just shut.down. And what's even more bizarre is the way that it happens. It's either your brain, or all of your other organs. So when it's your brain that is dead, everything else in you can work just fine, and this is where organ donation comes from. And in other cases, your brain is just fine, but your liver, kidneys, heart etc., are all shutting down. 

What's worse?

Because when your brain is dead, then the person is really not there. But when it's your organs, at least you are still somewhat with it alongside your family members. 

So, sometimes you get a goodbye...

and sometimes you don't.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

I say all of this because it is so apparent to me how short life is every.single.day. This can get really heavy after awhile, but it also makes me extremely honest (though I wish I were more honest). 

I know it seems so out of reach sometimes to fathom losing a parent, sibling, or spouse, but I watch it happen to families all the time. So I have a few things to say:

>>>Love deeply. 

>>>Cherish every moment. 

>>>Do not leave if you're angry. 

>>>Put all of your hope and faith in Christ. 

>>>Love deeply. 

Justin Key, the young Biola Alum (25 yrs.) who died last week, had his whole life in front of him. It was a truly tragic event. I mourn alongside his family and friends. One of his very good friends posted a note on her relationship with him, and it really got to me. Their friendship was so beautiful, and honest, and from the way she wrote, I really felt that he had no doubt of how much she cared for him. This made my heart feel good. 

Tell them that you love them. 

My 2010 resolution is to tell people how much I care about them. For girls, it will be an "I love you". And for boys (just to keep things not so weird), it will be a, "hey, I care for you a lot". This will mean, "I love you". ;)

The thing I hear the most in the hospital is, "I wish I could just tell him/her that I love him... because I do, but I never said it."

I don't want that to be me. 

I Still Love You Third Eye Blind

There is a special place in my heart for one 90's rock band - "Third Eye Blind". Even today, when I hear their songs come on 98.7, I turn up the volume, and rock out. There is just something about them... the passion and meaningfulness in his voice and lyrics... it gets me every time. Now, with this said, I only really ever got into their first, self-titled album, but I think in this new year, I am going to give their new stuff a try. And I would really like to see them in concert... if they even do that anymore... 

///////////////////////////////////////////

"I read dead Russian authors volumes at a time 

I write everything down except what's on my mind 

Cause my greatest fear is that sucking sound 

And then I know that I'll never get back out 

And there's a bone in my hand that connects to a drink 

In a crowded room where the glasses clink 

And I'll buy you a beer and we'll drink it deep 

Because that keeps me from falling asleep I said 

How'd you like to be alone and drowning 

How'd you like to be alone and drowning"

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

"Where we used to laugh 

There's a shouting match 

Sharp as a thumbnail scratch 

A silence I can't ignore 

Like the hammock by the 

Doorway we spent time in, swings empty 

Don't see lightning like last fall 

When it was always about to hit me 

I wonder how's it going to be 

When it goes down 

How's it going to be 

When you're not around 

How's it going to be 

When you found out there was nothing 

Between you and me 

Cause I don't care 

How's it going to be"

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

And well, he's on the table

And he's gone to code

And I do not think anyone knows

What they are doing here

And your friends have left you

You've been dismissed

I never thought it would come to this

And I, I want you to know

Everyone's got to face down the demons

Maybe today we can put the past away

I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend

You could cut ties with all the lies

That you've been living in and if you do not want to see me again

I would understand, I would understand, I would understand"

////////////////////////////////////////////////

Take a gander at their awesome, and cheesy 90's music vid. There is no way that this video does justice to the song. 

"How's it going to be, when you don't know me anymore?"

I find this lyric really touching. 

There is a thermometer by my bedside.

2009 was not a good year for me, or my insurance company. 

I have been stricken with anything and everything, and I am tired of it. 

And now, in the end, I am stuck in bed, studying for finals, with a fever and a cold. NOT cool. 

Not only did I get every vaccine possible to avoid this mess, but they temporarily paralyzed me because I am allergic to them, and they didn't.even.work. 

I finished my first final, but here I am, still trying to "finish" studying for the impossible, and ridiculous one, while coughing up a lung. 

From now on, things are changing around here. 

Dear 2010, 

I am going to intake at least 1000 mg of vitamin C daily, 

while washing my hands even more diligently. 

There will be no vaccines taken, 

and no changes of jobs, to add on extra stress that is not needed. 

Love, 

Me.  

Baby, it's cold outside.

Happy Finals Week!!

My finals week took an unexpected turn for the WORST last week, but I know that God has me right here for a reason. All I can do is give my best, and leave the rest up to His perfect will.

Church last night was AWESOME, as I was able to pray for an awesome young girl, and have my desire to pour into young college students solidified. I am excited about the new opportunities that Rock Harbor will bring.

I feel the need to throw out a little prayer list for my sake this week, just because I know that everyone who reads my blog is so "righteous". ;)

PrAy.

>>>I think we found THE house in Fullerton.
It's awesome and amazing, and we are just super stoked.
No definite plans yet, as we wait for God's timing.
Pray for wisdom and discernment.

>>>Finals.
Pray for strength and willpower.

>>>I have been having a really hard time at work with one particular person. she.just.doesn't.really.like.new.people. It's hard... really hard. Pray for peace.

>>>I want my family to attend the Rock Harbor Christmas services with me.
Pray for softness of hearts.

God is up to something big in Fullerton!

I am really excited about what God is doing in my life right now.

As I mentioned before, Rock Harbor is going to be expanding to Fullerton, as they establish a campus there. I have felt the call to be a part of this, and I am super stoked.

But alongside this, I reeeally have a desire to live IN Fullerton... pronto. Yet, in my months of searching now, I haven't found ANYTHING that is remotely close to interesting.

As I have been praying through this, I realized that I desire MORE than just a cozy living environment, I want REAL relationships with my roomies, and with the neighborhood around me. While I think that I have been accomplishing this on a way smaller level living in Aliso Viejo, I just want something more. I want a home where as roomies, we can all be accountable to each other, and where living together is more than just hanging out alone in our rooms, but having a responsibility to want to have relationships with each other. I want to have a home where we can have bible studies, life group gatherings, and Sunday BBQ's, inviting the people around us. I want to have a home where people always feel welcomed.

SO, rewind 2 weeks ago. I saw a posting on Rock Harbor's website about an intentional living community in Costa Mesa, for an open room. I was so determined to live in an environment like this, I wrote the girls, and they called me in for an interview. The girls are AWESOME. The house is a gem. BUT, I was secretly wishing it wouldn't work out, because it wasn't in Fullerton.

One week ago, I got an email from one of the girls from the house, saying that their roomie decided to not move out, and so that they didn't have an opening anymore. I decided to post my own classified ad on Rock Harbor's website, stating that I was looking for other girls, who wanted to create an intentional community in Fullerton.

Well, it just so happened, that on the other side of town, there was a girl who was just like me. Felt a call to Fullerton, and an intentional living community. Not only that, but she even interviewed for that house in Costa Mesa! And she was (also) secretly wishing it wouldn't work out, because she wants to live in Fullerton!! Even more, she and I have like 30-something facebook friends in common! We've met 6 times (though I am a horrible person and didn't remember)! We graduated from Biola at the same time!

How I was never friends with this awesome girl before, I have no clue. But all I know is that God is up to something BIGTIME here.

Steve, the Rock Harbor Fullerton pastor, has also hooked us up with a lady over at Rock Harbor who is in charge of trying to start up a thing called "Residencies". This idea is basically all about setting up girls and guys houses, throughout Orange County, where intentional community living is happening.

So, there is still a TON to do with this whole thing - finding a house in Fullerton, and more roomies - but I am confident that God is just going to guide us directly to where we are supposed to be.

And to my lady friends out there, if you are interested in being a part of this, let me know!!