New Job.

Today was my second day on the new job and I am loving it! For the most part, everyone is wonderful, and I am catching on pretty quickly. Actually, today, I pretty much just did everything by myself. In the end, it is a super high paced job, but it's not more high paced than the ER, which was kind of surprising. I have my times where I am definitely missing the ER, but it's also great to be able to breathe a little, and learn a lot more. I mostly stay busy with patients families (they were right about that being 50% of the job!), which is a little stressful right now because I am learning the computer system, and there are sooooooooo many restrictions on visitors, and CONSTANT visitors, but I can't wait to get the hang of everything so I am able to develop more of a relationship with the families. 

Developing relationships is one of the great benefits of working on a floor, opposed to the ER, because you see the same family members every day. Some patients have been on the unit for months now, and the spouses and parents pretty much come every day for patients. But today I did realize something - not everyone has visitors... and that's kind of sad :(. 

I also want to take this time to give a little recommendation to all of you to become organ donors! It's been really amazing watching this process over the past two days, and even though we are on the sad side of things, hopefully a heart, kidneys, lungs, and a few other things will work well for people on the transplant list. It's super important to make this decision now, and let your close family know of your wishes, that way, in the event that something tragic happens to you, your family will be able to be upfront about organ donation. Typically, they lose a lot of donations because the families aren't sure what the wishes are, which leaves it up to them, and they are usually too upset to say yes. Anyway, just a thought...

But I'm loving what I do, and the environment that I'm in is exciting. Working at a trauma center again, and being able to see what happens AFTER the patients leave the ER, is really really interesting. Being in this environment has really confirmed my calling to nursing (though I still kind of want to be in ER/Trauma), and has given me the little boost that I needed to return to school this fall. 

Michael Jackson: 1958 - 2009

Four and five year olds today listen to Hannah Montana. When I was four, I remember dancing around to my parents Michael Jackson records. Eventually my mom got me a cassette tape, and I think I literally listened to it so much, it didn't work anymore. I even remember listening to the song, "Man in the Mirror", and being greatly impacted by the lyrics:

"If you wanna make the world a better place, 

then look at yourself, and make the change." 

Jackson started out as the lead singer in the, all brothers band, The Jackson Five. Great, classic songs came out of that band. At such a young age, he showed such tremendous talent. Following the band, he tried to make it as a solo artist, and eventually became the greatest pop star in the history of the world. His songs will forever be legendary. 

Anti-Aging Machine...

No one will ever really know what exactly happened with Michael after that. From becoming obsessed with plastic surgery, to the multiple molestation charges made against him, I think it can be agreed that he was a very lonely and confused man. 

Through all of this, we can make an impact by praying for his friends and family (especially his 3 young children). I'm not sure if Michael had a relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, and I am not one to make that judgment, but we need to remember that it is a very sad day if Michael didn't. Life is so fleeting. It is here today, and can be gone tomorrow. 

Andrew Sullivan says things that I wasn't really brave enough to say:

"There are two things to say about him. He was a musical genius; and he was an abused child. By abuse, I do not mean sexual abuse; I mean he was used brutally and callously for money, and clearly imprisoned by a tyrannical father. He had no real childhood and spent much of his later life struggling to get one. He was spiritually and psychologically raped at a very early age - and never recovered. Watching him change his race, his age, and almost his gender, you saw a tortured soul seeking what the rest of us take for granted: a normal life.

But he had no compass to find one; no real friends to support and advise him; and money and fame imprisoned him in the delusions of narcissism and self-indulgence. Of course, he bears responsibility for his bizarre life. But the damage done to him by his own family and then by all those motivated more by money and power than by faith and love was irreparable in the end. He died a while ago. He remained for so long a walking human shell.

I loved his music. His young voice was almost a miracle, his poise in retrospect eery, his joy, tempered by pain, often unbearably uplifting. He made the greatest music video of all time; and he made some of the greatest records of all time. He was everything our culture worships; and yet he was obviously desperately unhappy, tortured, afraid and alone.

I grieve for him; but I also grieve for the culture that created and destroyed him. That culture is ours' and it is a lethal and brutal one: with fame and celebrity as its core values, with money as its sole motive, it chewed this child up and spat him out."

Nixon Library.

Jono and Simone recommended that I watch "FrostNixon", after I told them about "W", and I thoroughly enjoyed the movie. After watching the special features, I enjoyed it so much, in fact, that I grabbed my purse and headed towards the Nixon Library in Yorba Linda. It was a beautiful day to see the place, and I learned a lot while I was there. 

They currently have a huge lego flag at the library... if you're interested...

This is where you come first to watch a 30 minute segment on Nixon's life. It was created before his death (early 90's), and pretty much mentions absolutely nothing of Watergate, and takes about 30 seconds to revisit the resignation. Very interesting. 

Nixon was a hottie... ;-)

This was my favorite display (of course)

I was surprised (almost to tears), when I realized that a piece of the Berlin Wall was here... amazing. 

The Prisoners of War display was also really heart wrenching. 

One thing in the whole museum related to Watergate. You can move the pictures and arrows around to blame whomever you want for the incident (so standard, right?). I couldn't do it myself because these Nixon Library workers were playing with it forever. Meh. 

Picture of the resignation... with his family. 

The sun was so bright, it did that to my camera. But it was really beautiful. 

I loooved learning about the wedding at the White House. 

Same one as in the picture above... they hold weddings at the Nixon Library. 

View of the Garden

Classic...

They have it at the library!!!

Couldn't resist... :-)

Burial sites for Mr. and Mrs. Nixon

They literally built the library AROUND Nixon's house that he grew up in. That is his real house, that his parents built from a kit. It was really awesome to see. 

And you can go in!!

The sticker was a must...

Who would have known that the city of Claremont was sooo cute, and was the home of a store owned by Ben Harper... pretty sweeeet. 

All in all, a very fun day! I highly recommend that you check out the library ASAP. Now I am on a museum "high", and will be traveling, often, to many this summer. 

Iran + Jon Stewart

Jon Stewart sent correspondent, Jason Jones, to Iran to cover the election. They have a bunch of clips showing (with sarcasm), how Iranians don't hate America. I talked to a lady the other day who believed that "America should just nuclear bomb Iran". Ummm, ya, I freaked a little, and spoke my "peace".... and then was reminded of these wonderful people in the video, friends family who is in Iran, and many other innocent citizens who didn't ask for the violence. Open up your eyes people.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Jason Jones: Behind the Veil - Minarets of Menace
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Silly detours...

Isn't it amaaazing at how much God loves His children?!

I write the same thing every time I go to a wedding, or bridal shower, etc., and the host(s) asks us to write some kind of word of encouragement. I write - "Remember to seek first the Kingdom, and all that you need will be given to you by God." Yes, I am translating that verse myself (Mt. 6). And, ya, I write this all the time, but sometimes I don't even believe it for myself, but I swear, I see this promise come to fruition all the time. 

I have a very good friend, and her name is Erin. She's pretty much amazing, and I love her dearly. Well Erin is super into the outdoors, and goes on all these crazy hikes and camping trips, and sees the beauty of God through nature (which is awesome). Well, Erin was on her way to Yosemite to attempt this gnarly hike with some friends, and on the way there, they just had some major disruptions. The car broke down on the grapevine, and then there was this police standoff where they were stranded, and they had to sleep in their car... just craziness. Well eventually, they all decided to just forego the trip, and return home. When Erin got home, her mom greeted her with an article about how 40 people had to be evacuated, from where they were supposed to be camping, because of thunderstorms and hailstorms. And while the people were evacuating, a 40 year old man fell off the mountain and died. Very sad. 

As Erin was telling me this story, I just kept thinking, wow, this could have been her! For whatever reason God did NOT want them to be up on that mountain, and He did everything He could to get all the friend's hearts to "shift" to heading home (after all the trials God threw their way). 

Erin and her friends had been planning this trip for 2 whole months. They bought all the camping food, and they were all packed, and had been training for the hike... they were ready to go. God knew that they would never even make it to Yosemite, but He still let them plan, and He even let them put the pedal to the metal, as they began driving towards the mountain. 

So why would He detour them after all that?? 

I don't know the answer to that question, but I do know that this is just how God works. He works everything together for His perfect plan, and He watches over, takes care of, and loves His children, who are seeking first the Kingdom. 

Sometimes it's really difficult to understand why God does what He does, but we continually have to have faith that He knows best. Sometimes, we are going to hit detours, and those detours might not be understood in less than 48 hours. Those detours might not be understood for a looong time. But we can't give up during the detour. We must keep seeking the Kingdom, and making an eternal difference for the Kingdom. Because in the end, the detour will make sense... and we don't want to look back at our lives and realize - we were always just waiting, for the detours, to end. 

Jesus loves you. 

New Computer!!!!!!!!!!!

Wooooooooo!!!!! I have a new computer!!!!

Okay, so no, I did not receive a big donation from anyone, I actually just saved up my money and bought a new MacBook myself! I'm such an adult ;)

I am so stoked! There is still a few kinks I need to get worked out, but I am not going back to the Apple store for a few days because the new iPhone madness is CRAZY.

Also, since I got a new computer, I was able to update my iPhone! Now I can copy and paste!

I am soooo excited to have a new computer because now I can really blog again (whew). SO many things on my mind....

• Obama's healthcare reforms
• Michael Moore's new movie
• Iran
• Talking to conservative right winged people
• Nursing/Future plans
• Reading through "Boundaries" again
• Etc...

Can't wait to get back into it!!!

Forgive and forget?

Today I went by my high school to get my transcripts to prove I took biology. I literally could not remember if I took that class or not. Come to find out, I failed the first time, so I took it twice.

I spent two years studying something, 8 or 9 years ago, and I don't even remember what kind of room I sat in, or who my teacher was, or how it felt to fail. I don't even remember failing!

Recently, I feel like I've gone through a lot of failure, amongst a lot of success. And honestly, I truly don't think that I will ever fail this much ever again. Because the lessons I've learned from these failures, were big ones, and they will definitely help me to be such a better person in the future.

Yet, how do you forgive yourself for things you've done? Especially when you might not even be forgiven by the person you wronged? I don't know the answer to that. If I did, I think I'd be rich. And honestly, it would be great (and kind of cliché) for me to say something like, "well God forgives me, and that's all that matters." Nope, that's not what I have for you tonight. All I have to say, is that there will come a day when I hope that I LITERALLY don't remember anymore. I don't want to remember the room, or the feeling of failure, I don't want to remember. So, 8 more years... Not too bad. ;-)

Happy 400th Post!

Posi/Neg's...

+ Dick Cheney blaming Dick Clark for 9/11, which inevitebly ended up looking like the Bush administration was responsible for 9/11... I love politics.

+ The hospital I'm going to be working at has great benefits, and I will be able to keep my doctor I have now!

+ According to the doctor who had to perform a physical on me for my new job, I am perfectly healthy. The physical lasted maaaaaybe 2 minutes. Awesome.

- I need a computer reeeeally bad. I want to take an online class, and I am nervous to do so without a computer :(

+ I got a Disneyland pass, finally. Thanks to the friends and family who made it possible. Will someone go with me on my birthday? August 6th...

+ Two of my best friends want to move to DC... Since that's where I ultimately want to be, praise the Lord.

+ Been having quality roomie time lately and it's been great.

+ New Dave Matthews is lovely.

+/- Wedding season has begun, and I have a lot of 'em to attend.

+ Friday is my last day of work!!! And then I am taking 2 weeks off!!! I am praying that God will provide somewhere (cheap!) for me to get away. 

The start of a new season.

So I'm entering into a new season in my life and I'm pretty stoked about it. I've been working at my church for a little over a year now as the church administrator, and it's been... well, an adventure. I learned SO much while at this job, and I worked with the most amazing people ever (whom I will miss like crazy!), but God is definitely moving me out. It's a little sad to say goodbye to working everyday with so many fantastic people, but I have such PEACE about this move. I seriously haven't been this happy in a really long time. 

So, I never heard back about the Biola job, so I took a job in the ICU at a local trauma center. I'm pretty stoked about it because I said that if I didn't get the Biola job, this would be the job I would want. These jobs were kind of two totally different directions for me, and I was really praying and asking God to help show me His will through which job was offered to me. 

If you've known me, or been following my blog for a while, then you know that I'm torn in two different directions: One - the university field/seminary, or, Two - hospital/nursing. I've been having such a hard time figuring out what I want to do because I love them BOTH. So I desperately need God. I need Him because ultimately this life is all up to Him anyway, so I just need to know which way He is wanting me to go. Well right now, I believe that God has really opened the door for nursing. He definitely flung the door open for this ICU job, in which the director was suuuper stoked that I was "spiritual" because she said they needed "someone like me around". How awesome is that?! I am literally going to devote a lot of my time praying for a revival among the staff. So I am going to start to go in the direction of nursing. I'm taking baby steps. I'm taking a summer school course, and I will spend the summer praying about going back to Saddleback in the fall (I got a grant that waives my tuition! Maybe another sign...). 

Please pray with me about this.

In my prayers, I also focus on my future if I were to be blessed with a spouse and family. Something very enticing to me about nursing is that I believe I would be putting myself in a position to let my future husband spend time investing in something he's passionate about. I'm a very passionate person, and I can definitely see myself marrying someone who is passionate as well. Usually when we are passionate, we aren't able to fully fulfill those things because we have to work a 9-5 job, on top of pursuing what we truly love in our spare time. I don't want my life to be spent watching the person I love and respect, being trapped in a 9-5. I'm not saying I want to be an egalitarian bread winner, just saying that I'm passionate about healthcare and could make a good living, and I don't want me or my family to miss out on what we love the most.

Now, you may be wondering about my junior high kiddos. Well, first off, I love them soooo much! I am definitely going to be serving through the summer, and just praying about the rest. Not sure if I could continue directing a ministry as I'm taking some really difficult science classes. But God knows, and I'm stoked for the future! His plan is bigger and better than anyone's ideas, and as long as we keep submitting to what He's doing, everything will be taken care of in the end. 

Welcome Conan...

Welcome Conan, you are loved here. Can't wait to see a live taping soon!

Also want to note that the Leno Tonight Show Finale was AWESOME, and they had me in tears at the end. The staff at the Leno show has pretty much been with Leno ALL 17 years... so cool! And even cooler, most of the Conan staff made the move to LA to stay with the show. I love to hear of what awesome relationships have been built through the workplace!