Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Bubble Wrap of Bondage

I am in the weirdest time of my life. 

I feel so many "opposites". For instance, I feel really really stable with a lot of things, but then I feel unstable at the same time. I love my second job, but I would like to quit. I am tired, but I feel like I don't do enough. I feel like I have it all together, but I don't. 

The good thing is that I have never really experienced a time like this God before. And I can't really explain what kind of "time" I am having (because I don't know how to explain it), but I know that this time will give me a lot of strength for the future... a lot of strength. It's kind of weird - I feel like I am building up muscle in my heart, and the muscle is starting to reside in the "fruits" (of the Spirit) which want to come out of me stronger... and better...

Does that make sense?

See, that's why I didn't want to try and explain it. But it's like every single day that I wake up, I feel like the day before helped to make me stronger for my future, because of what I had to endure. Kind of cool that we will be looking at Fruits of the Spirit in Junior High Ministry in the next 2 months. But it's just AMAZING when I realize the amount of grace that God gives me every day. 


I was working at the ER the other night and this young man (my age) came into the ER because he had overdosed. I knew I would have to talk with him eventually about his insurance and information, but I wanted to make sure that I waited for him to come off of the drugs. Hours later, I was asking him some questions about where he lived and under his breath he made a comment about how he wasn't happy with his roommates. I asked why and he said that he wished they wouldn't have found him and that he would have liked to have died. Earlier I had asked him about his religious preference (I have too... it's weird), and he had told me that he was a Christian. So I said to him, well God doesn't want you to die, and that's why you are sitting here with me right now, He gave you a second chance. 

He explained that it was just so hard to quit doing drugs and that he had been to rehab and nothing was working. Then he said something quite profound to me - he said that he believed in God, and he wanted to walk the path that God wanted him to walk, but that he was in so much bondage, he didn't know any other way out but death. He then denied this to the doctor (suicidal thoughts), so they released him.

I told him that I was sorry it was so hard for him. I can't relate. I also told him that God loved him very much, and had an amazing plan for his life. I gave him all my information and invited him to church, letting him know that we have a drug and alcohol ministry that I could introduce him too. He seemed very open to this, even telling the doctor that's what he was planning on doing (I am so going to get fired one day for inviting people to my church...)

Help me by praying for him... I hope he comes... I hope he gets better... I hope he gets some help. 

Is it not amazing how God can use me as I collect people's insurance information? This is why I love my job. 

I mean, this kid came into the hospital and was almost dead, has to spend 90 days in jail, and was treated like a second class citizen by everyone because he is the "overdose". And what do I get to do? I get to pull up a chair, sit with him, listen to his concerns, try to help as best as I can, and show him a little grace. 

It makes the things happening in my life seem so insignificant.

It also makes me realize how amazing God is to use the "overdose" to speak truth into my life about being trapped in bondage. We can all get trapped into bondage in one form or another. It's like bubble wrap - where every bubble is different, and some are easier to pop than the others. It might not be drugs or alcohol, but it could be a lot of different things. The point is that we must continually deny ourselves of these things and fight really hard to get them out of our lives so that we can "walk that path that God wants us to walk". It will probably be hard, and we will probably fall and have to pick ourselves back up again a few times, but we can't give up. Because if we give up, then I won't be collecting insurance, and an "overdose" won't be sitting in a hospital bed next to me. 

Perseverance makes us strong.

Perseverance in the really hard times of life, reminds us that God... is stronger.


2 comments:

Bethany Pee said...

wow, this was good, really good.

blythe said...

i lovedd the bubbled wrap analogy. ha.