Tuesday, January 29, 2008

The intensity of God

Oh my goodness, the Lord can be so "intense" sometimes.
He has just shown up in my life lately in every area. These are the times that I thoroughly enjoy the most, but these are also the times where I can just get so exhausted because He usually asks me to submit to things I wasn't planning on submitting too.

I am in a theology of gender class, and I am reeeally excited about it. I want to take the class really bad. But when I signed up for it last semester, I knew the Lord wanted me to take a Pauline Literature class instead. I was okay with taking Pauline Lit because, well, who wouldn't want to sit in class with Ken Berding, but I didn't want to take a monday-wednesday-friday class and I also was scared of it because it is a lot of work. All of my classes are extremely hard this semester and I really needed my theology of gender class to be a little less scary.
Well, when I sat down in class yesterday, I didn't have peace at all. I knew I wasn't supposed to take the class...I was supposed to take Pauline Lit. Well I was so adamant about not listening and just doing what I wanted, that I completely ignored the Lord again. That didn't last for long...today I was praying before I was going to do some studying and the Lord just showed up and threw down some intensity on me. He was basically like, "You will take that Pauline Lit. class, and you will email Dr. Berding and ask him to let you in". Of course I was still resisting, said back, "Ohh, too bad, so sad Lord...it's closed" (like that is going to stop Him). I couldn't resist, I had to email Dr. Berding...there was no other choice.
So I emailed him and I was really honest. I told him everything from, "I don't want to take a M/W/F class...to, Theology of gender will just be easier...(only because I have already read the books, and researched this topic for a while now). And I explained to him that God was telling me I needed to take his class. I felt like a crazy person, which is dumb, because I know that God tells Dr. Berding to do things ;)
Anyway, he emailed me back and of course, "oddly enough, he does have an extra spot". Of COURSE he does...was there really any doubt?
Now I have to email Dr. Pierce and explain to him why I am not in his class anymore because I told him last semester that I was going to be in his class and he definitly knows who I am...kind of embarassing.
But i'm not going to lie, I feel SO much better now. All yesterday and all today I was walking around and feeling reeeally strange about this semester...something just wasn't right. I think I am on the right track once again.

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